Something AWESOME is Coming!
When things get rough and I’m down on myself for making a mistake, I find myself thinking a familiar story.
One is that I messed up, and that’s typical because I am just a messer-upper.
The second is that I’ve already achieved the best I was going to achieve in life (again, because I am a messer-upper, and that’s how it goes for people like me.)
And third, I am probably doomed to repeat whatever mistake got me down to begin with, and everyone I’ve ever loved and admired will judge me for this.
I admit it’s not a great story. It’s pretty much the worst.
Fortunately, I’ve given myself these lines long enough that I can see them for what they are: a story I tell myself when I make mistakes.
And I can see that when I tell myself this story, I feel awful.
I feel small and broken, foolish, and stupid. I feel doomed to do bad things and hurt people I love.
So when I hear the familiar whispers of those thoughts bubbling up, I now I imagine the guy from Monty Python who wheels out his cart calling, “Bring out yer dead.” Only my guy is calling, “You’re a messer-upper and everyone is disappointed in you. You suck.”
I hate that guy, but I pitch my failure on his cart, whatever it is, and let him continue on to bother the next person. It’s just what that guy says. It’s not necessarily true.
Then I ask myself, “What did I learn here?” Because no matter what happened that I’m feeling bad about, there is something to be learned there.
Sometimes it’s just to be more patient. Sometimes it’s to proof-read, or include others in my decisions…
But always, no matter what I come up with as my takeaways, simply asking the question steers me away from feeling like a complete loser and makes me feel more in control and curious again.
In the time after I sold Spirit Gallery and was waiting for death to come or purpose to show up in my life again, I heard a lot of my worst thoughts on repeat. After dwelling in that depression for some time, one morning I half-heartedly asked myself, “Do you REALLY think you’ve done EVERYTHING your life was good for already? At 35? Seriously?”
That one thought snapped me out of it. No, I didn’t think it was likely that I had actually peaked at 35, or 32, or whenever I thought things had started to slide downhill. I had time. I could turn it around.
After that, I started to ask myself a lot more questions, because asking better questions that I don’t know the answer to out of the box makes me feel better.
The best one I asked was, “What if I haven’t met everyone yet that’s important in my life and to me?” What if there are lots of people I have yet to meet that are super important to me, and I to them?
It got me thinking about who I could be to them. What I might be able to offer. How I could help. What I could learn. Where they might be.
There were so many awesome places I could go with that thought!
Asking that better question led me to start taking classes. It spurred me to care more about managing my health. It led me to meet dozens of new friends that I speak to regularly now, from all over the world. And it led to eventually meeting my daughter. ❤️
So what can you imagine if you ask the question, “What AWESOME thing is coming next for me?”
What could it be? Where is it? How can I make room for that?”
I can guarantee it’s a better thing to think about than calling yourself a messer-upper! At least it is for me…
Wishing you your next awesome thing,
PS – If you find thought exercises like this helpful and you enjoy my storytelling, check out my program Talisman Transformation Method and apply for the December group before it fills up!
You can kick off the end of 2020 and ring in 2021 thinking new thoughts, feeling happy feels, and making a gorgeous-and-effective talisman to lock in the good mojo. I teach you how inside the program. 😉 See you there!